Eastern Iowa Women

As children, we compare ourselves to others. Our parents, role models, friends, other random kids, all help us reflect and define our own self-image. We look at them as how we want to be or how we don't want to be. We learn what society accepts as normal and what is socially unacceptable.

Without a conscious choice, we slowly define ourselves through our eyes. Sometimes the result is a self-loathing or shame for not conforming to the social norms. We essentially are taught to not accept ourselves. As adults, this can cause relationship issues, career issues, and many other types of life issues. Once many people reach mid-life, it becomes a lot easier to accept ourselves and say screw everyone else's opinion. Unfortunately, this can take 50 years to happen, if it happens at all.

For those of you who have not learned to love yourself for who you are. It is time. Life is too short and beautiful and precious to spend any time on negative thoughts about yourself. Here are some words of wisdom that may help:

Accept that you cannot change some things. Is your hair too stringy, skin too light, legs too short, arms too thick, or voice too high? All you need to do is decide that its OK to be that way and accept yourself. Once you make that conscious decision, it is a weight off your shoulders. Those are no longer negative things; they are beautiful because they are you.  So, be thankful that you have all of your necessary parts and that they are functioning. You are very lucky!  Even if you were born without half of your body, you still deserve to love yourself for who you are.

Take control of the things you can change.  Do you wish you were thinner, thicker, less hairy, or have a brighter smile? That's great! Those are things you can change. Change your diet and start an exercise routine. You can make your body thinner or bulk up those muscles, if you want to. Go for a body wax or have an esthetician remove your unwanted hair. Its a standard procedure that is affordable to most. Even if you don't change these imperfections that you CAN change. It is OK to leave yourself the way you are, because you are beautiful and unique. Do what feels good to you.

Embrace womanly changes.  Did pregnancy leave you stretch marks and a little soft around the middle? Be proud of what you did. Child rearing is no small feat and you should hold your head high and know that anyone who appreciates the beauty of that process will see past any imperfection. Have no fear, your man will still be attracted to you after those changes. I think there was a study done somewhere that said men do not see women's bodies the way a woman does.

Nothing stays the same. Our bodies change when they age, that is just a fact that nobody can deny. Even Hollywood stars cannot escape it with surgery and creams. It is possible to slow the process of aging by reducing stress, eating a healthy diet, exercising, and trying some of those anti-aging products. But, there is no escaping it completely. Your skin will lose elasticity, its not about beauty, its science.  It's ok to age.  Look at it as an honor. Everyone loves grandma and grandpa and there is a reason for that. Old faces are charming and tell a story. Love yourself as you age, you deserve it!

That old saying, “the better you look, the better you feel” is actually true. It does not mean you have to look like a fashion model. You just need to look your best to feel really good. Confidence is a great attitude that looks really good on you, so try it on!

Life brings us all down, at times.  You work hard, try your best for your family, have a nice car and a nice house, but still get let down sometimes. That’s life.  Sometimes the stress is a long, drawn out process of beating you down like an old dirty rug. That is when you will tend to stop taking care of yourself as you should and begin the process of not feeling so good because you know you don’t look so good. It’s not because you don't care, life just gets in the way and takes away our spark. It is more difficult to go to the gym and eat freshly prepared food when you are feeling down in the dumps.

This has probably happened to you once or twice in your life. It will probably happen again. We all go through this in our own way. When it happens again, don’t forget that this is normal and will pass. Give yourself some extra attention as you would if you were your best friend. Take yourself out, get a haircut, buy some new clothes. Do what makes you feel like you look better and ultimately you will feel better.

When you feel better about yourself, every aspect of your life is affected. Your kids will notice, your spouse and boss will notice, it will be a great relief for them. Everyone around you wants you to feel good and do good because it affects them. Feeling good means you will think more clearly and make better decisions. There will be trickle affect and your life will change from the “down in the dumps” life to the great life that you deserve. Your creative juices will start coming out and you will be able to handle more stress with ease. Although it seems unrelated, a simple haircut and shower can turn your life around for the better.